Day at work terrible. Perhaps terrible is inaccurate. Difficult is a better term. Mostly focused on D and the kids, but forced myself to concentrate on my clients, and find opportunities to laugh with then and sympathize with their issues, so from a purely performance perspective day was positive. From an emotional experience less than ideal.
Work finishes, I find myself unwilling to leave. Leave anyway because I know I have things to do. Anticipating arriving at empty house without the sound of children, happy or upset, and without the comfort and delight offered by D. I find myself wishing we could have had just one more day before this whole event went down, even if we spent that whole day bickering about meaningless nonsense. At least i would be bickering with the people I love beyond reason, instead of with the empty walls and silent appliances.
The bunnies suck at bickering. Their only contribution to the effort is the occasional rattle of their food dishes or a heavy thump on the floor of their cages.
Arrive home, as expected, to disorganized mess that has become of my house. And it's not the pleasant, welcome chaos of a home lived in. It's the jarring detritus of a home that has been left in absentia, with boxes and gewgaws and flotsam everywhere, the remains of breakfast still on the table with the scent of maple "syrup" still in the air. I find the diaper full of poo left thoughtfully for me by the littlest monster. I'll even miss struggling with the little bastard while trying to clean his backside. The scent is not quite as nostalgic for me, however. He produces ripe little nuggets of joy.
Start packing the POD. Forget instantly cardinal rule of packing, heavy boxes on the bottom, and after tower of boxes collapses, forced to reorganize and start over. It's okay. I have nothing but time.
Finish packing the majority of what we were able to actually pack that was not in active use. It takes up less than a sixth of the room in the POD. By my mental math and spacial reasoning I figure if I am draconian in the measures I take to axe our belongings, I should be able to fit most if not all of our stuff into the unit. This pleases me, however briefly.
Will probably focus on packing POD for next few days until I clear enough room to start painting upstairs. Have to make sure our unwanted furniture is at bottom of driveway for charity to pick up tomorrow. Don't really care if someone else grabs it instead. Things don't concern me at this point. Getting the house ready to sell so I'm alone for as little time as possible is the priority. I hate this feeling.
Hours have passed. Proud of what I've accomplished. Have disassembled Liam's bed and Wolfgang's crib, the latter of which I felt would be impossible due to stripped screws, but I managed. Packed both into POD with mattresses, and Desiree's jewelry cabinet. Still lots of room. I think I can do this, and relatively quickly as well. We shall see.
Have moved furniture for charity to bottom of driveway. Hopefully they take it away as promised tomorrow.
Will probably have dinner now, and relax watching TV or playing on the computer. Not happy about missing the family, but optimistic about my progress on the house
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